Endings, beginnings, new discoveries

I was feeling out of sorts and out of balance this hot May morning, so I took off for a walk at Tybee. I've stayed fairly busy sub teaching, and the jobs are harder as the students get tired of school. So today I blew off any possiblility of working...I love the way the morning sun shines on the waves! This is one of my favorite views of the Tybee Lighthouse.

The first pic made my day, my month, my entire year! In all my days of trail walking in Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia, I have never seen a bobcat in the wild. Bears, yes, bobcats, no. Of course they are normally noctural. I've always seen scat, but that's it. Sunday at Fort Pulaski, near Tybee Island, my husband and I saw one at 9am, as our car passed by marsh and forest areas to get to the parking lot. What a rush!

I've been reading, off and on, a book by Dr. Henry Cloud on Necessary Endings, the employers, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward. I never really thought about it before, but to start a new challenge or relationship, you usually have to say goodbye to something.

My son graduates from high school in June. He was already dual enrolled full time at the local college. I am excited for him to be going back, this time with a dorm to end a rather aggravating commute. Definitely a big ending and beginning for him!

Still lots of gloom and doom on the educational front...more teachers layed off, less pay for those who stay. Looks like my husband's job is secure, but I am anticipating a third year of subbing instead of teaching. I love the freedom but sometimes I really miss not having my own students.

Climbing mountains....

I was climbing mountains during Easter break. The top two photos are from Crabtree Falls, Virginia, just off the Blue Ridge Parkway. This has been a favorite mountain hike of my family for generations. As a kid, I could climb the two miles up, view the falls, and make the two miles down, as an "after dinner" walk. I didn't make it to the top of Crabtree this spring, primarily because....I climbed Sharp Top Mountain, part of the Peaks of Otter, just off the Blue Ridge Parkway, the day before and some muscles were really sore! The curse of being a coastal Georgia flatlands hiker! The bottom two photos show the view from Sharp Top. There is nothing like standing on a mountaintop for clearing the mind and opening yourself to new challenges!

Buttercups

Early March, and a small row of buttercups stands next to my mailbox. A resolute harbinger of spring, the sturdy stalks push up from the cold ground. And just when I think, "o.k., this is it," a few more shoots emerge overnight.

I'm thinking of my Granny, 94 and in a nursing home following a hospitalization for a lung and fluid problem. For her, this is likely a slow decline, before she leaves us. I remember the buttercups lining her driveway, and how excited she was to see them each year!

Diving/working through life

I've been watching pelicans dive for fish, here at 1pm on Sunday at the north beach rock jetty. Today is a real tease for spring; apparently the shore birds sense it also. I see various types of gulls, pelicans, and what I think are cormorants floating in the surf - perhaps more than I've seen at any time just floating. I suspect some schools of fish are running parallel to the beach.

Mark is sitting beside me writing in his journal. We walked to the north channel, then went to the car to get chairs and writing materials. There are a fair number of people on the beach, some already in swimsuits, and a few young children in the surf. The water still feels pretty cold to me, but I did walk in my bare feet (and loved every minute of it!) Yea, spring!!!

Tybee - more ebb and flow

My husband and I are sitting between a couple of small sand dunes, looking out toward the water to the distant horizon of sky and sea. I can hear the persistent droning of a small plane as it circles around Tybee Island. Today is blissfully sunny. The breeze has a distinct nip, hence the sand dune location, which blocks the worst of the wind. Waves gently hit the sand - unseen from my current location but heard nontheless. Several seagulls sit about 50 yards from us, checking for signs of food in our writing bags. Sorry, fellas!

Just as we are huddled between sand mounds, Savannah is between two rain systems. One moved out yesterday, after two dismal, mind numbing days of steady drizzle and downpour; another will be upon us tomorrow. This evening is "Super Bowl" time. I'm betting I will have plenty of sub teaching opportunities tomorrow...

My life is still "up in the air" - will I get offered another teaching job ever? Will I continue as a sub? Can I afford to be a sub? What will be my second act at age 50? Do I want to go back to school? Could I even do that while my son is in college? I am grateful, with so many questions, to be in a "no obligation" situation for now. No contracts, no worries. Ebb and flow, ebb and flow....

Beach moments...

Sitting in a canvas beach chair facing the north channel, with the sun warming my back and a cool breeze tickling my face. Savannah's high was to be around 67 degrees today. I'm trying to write but feel the pull of sleep listening to the tide lap at the banks. The sound is different from breakers on the main beach - more gentle, hypnotic and rhythmic. I could sleep and put off writing so easily...

I've watched two ships come in - a car carrier and an Asian freighter. Nearby sea gulls seem disappointed that I'm not munching on anything. They pass nonchalantly by, switching from walking to swimming.

Winter blues in the sky make the water appear more blue and clear than it actually is. I see islands on the horizon - one is Hilton Head, the other Daufuskie. The tide is coming in - in a few minutes I will have to move my chair to avoid wet feet. Like a fresh salty breeze, my mind feels unfettered and open.

Mark is with me. Together we walked around the channel back toward the north beach. We found the carcass of a Sheep's Head fish. Many small jellyfish had also washed up on the beach. I saw the fish bones yesterday, but since then someone has taken the teeth out of the fish's mouth. They were pretty scary looking! A reminder that many ocean dwellers besides sharks have teeth.

The breeze is becoming a bit more chilling and cutting - more of a slap than a tickle - as the sun drops a bit in the afternoon sky. No perfect moment can last forever!

January passages...

I haven't posted anything all month, due to recent life events. My mother-in-law, who suffered from bipolar disorder all of her life and multiple sclerosis for a decade, passed away December 31st, after being in ICU for almost three months. Thankfully she was in a hospice facility for the last two days; wish my stepfather-in-law would have accepted hospice care sooner. My husband and his brother logged many hours at the hospital. Interestingly enough, my husband Mark was present for the sudden death of his father from a heart attack almost 30 years ago, and he was present when his mother also took her last breath. She loved the beach, so I'm posting a couple of pics in her honor...

I'm finishing up a long term sub job as a teacher's aide in a kindergarten inclusion class tomorrow. I've learned a lot about teaching younger kids, which was helpful since most of my experience is with 4th-8th grades. I've also been able to work with students with Downs Syndrome, which was a new experience. I was recently moved into another regular kindergarten class to work only with one conduct disorder child from the previous room. I am all for inclusion, except when a child who hurts others has the right to stay in the mainstream. I'm happy to be finishing up, as this one-on-one situation is not my cup of teaching tea! So....I'll be back in the sub pool again, waiting for the phone to ring....