Tides of Diane

Happy New Year - 2012!

2012-01-02T18:27:00.000-08:00

I don't have a photo of a dove, so I'm putting a picture of shore birds in flight. Here is one of my favorite quotes, to start off the new year : "When the power of love is stronger than the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix. Something to think about in an election year. Peace may seem unattainable, but is worth always striving for.

Watching and waiting...

2011-12-06T14:06:00.000-08:00

I'm on Tybee's north beach, watching and waiting as four cargo ships enter the shipping channel from the open ocean. Don't believe I've ever been at this corner, seeing so many ships at once. I can see several more on the horizon, no doubt bringing in holiday cars and products.
The 70 plus sun temp is warm on my back, two hours from slipping away, leaving us in darkness once again.

I'm here alone, consoling myself in the best way I know how, as it looks as though a job I would have loved to have had has been given to someone else. I can accept that, but I still feel a loss - a loss of what could be.

The job was at a local college, as secretary to a department head. A wonderful job perk is that, after six months of employment, you can take classes at no cost. I could see myself getting a Masters in English, teaching as an adjunct professor.

I'm stretching out these peaceful moments before I'm back to my "to do" list and problem-solving how to pay bills. Life goes on, watching and waiting some more....

Being thankful...

2011-11-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

We're here, Mark and I, at the north beach channel, with our chairs and backpacks full of writing implements, cameras, sandwiches and drinks. The sky and water both appear cornflower blue in color, punctuated only by the islands across the channel. The strips of land are the only way to distinguish the horizon line. Temps are mild; low 70s with a gentle breeze and no clouds for the sun to hide behind. I like my beach sun in November! A man nearby is digging up mussels, the smooth sand interrupted by small mounds he has scratched up. A few people, probably tourists in rentals, walk by. A nearby beach house of modern design, with lots of glass, stands with windows and doors flung open to the breeze. Kayaks in bright blue and yellow are piled nearby on the small dunes. It looks so inviting I want to walk in or grab a kayak!

We are heading into the Thanksgiving holiday. What am I thankful for? To be alive, to be cognizant and and walking, with good health to this point. To be with my husband and son together, we three. To be aware of this moment in time. To be able to appreciate the past but still look with hope towards the future.

One step at a time...and loving it!

2011-11-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

I have had some great walks on this three day weekend. With this pic, I am standing upright; the tree, on the bank, is leaning into the river. I took this near Skidaway Island on Veteran's Day and it was a cold, windy walk!

Today at Tybee Island was glorious! Mild temps and loads of sunshine! Calm winds with a low tide to boot!

Even the shore birds seemed to be enjoying the day. I love sandpipers!

Pelicans tend to be so skittish, so I was pleased to get this shot.

Making the most of fall days...

2011-10-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

I was sitting with Mark at Ft. Pulaski on Sunday, at the beach by the shipping channel. We brought beach chairs, drinks and sandwiches to enjoy after our walk. Each season in Savannah is pretty, and I'm enjoying the blue sky, the golden marsh grass, and the blue-gray of the ocean. The temp is near about perfect today - upper 60s with a breeze. The sun feels great on my face! Visibility on the water is so improved in the fall. I can see details on the neighboring islands you normally couldn't see in a summer haze. No ships or pilot boats have gone by today. A smaller shrimp boat came into the channel but then left for open water. The sound of the lapping water, and the quiet of nature, is hypnotizing. So far we've had this area to ourselves - no yelling kids, running dogs, etc. Yesterday we were on Tybee walking. Mark showed me where two "free" parking spaces are. I'll check there first from now on. The smell of the marsh and open salt air is so familiar and welcome. This is the best way I know to enjoy unemployment! If I'd kept the teaching job, I'd be mired in lesson plans and a "to do" list today. I feel foolish after all the rants about not getting a teaching job. We each have a finite number of days, and I want to look back on each one to say that I used my time wisely.

Retreat from misery to happiness...

2011-10-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on a large piece of driftwood (remnants of a tree, bleached smooth and white from the elements) at Fort Pulaski. I'm at the shipping channel. It's high tide, or close to it. The water is almost at my feet. Oops, a pilot boat went by, but no, the ship is leaving the channel, not entering. No water worries! A ship can force a foot or two of extra water to the channel edge. Actually, I do have to raise my feet for the waves generated by the pilot boat but oh well....

I'm thinking about the history this area has seen. Ft. Pulaski sits on Cockspur Island, where James Oglethorpe, founder of Savannah, and John Wesley, founder of Methodism, both landed. The Confederate fort fell to Union troops firing from Ft. Screven at nearby Tybee Island. So much misery in the mid 1800s...now today a beautiful wildlife refuge and historical monument.

I've gone from misery to happiness myself. I haven't posted in some time and that is because I applied for, and got, a public PreK teaching position in September. I worked all through August setting up the room. I left after two weeks with the kids. The stress of having 22 students from 8 to 4 with no break and only one very young, very inexperienced and sometimes rude helper, scads of state paperwork, county training obligations, and lots of school level battles was just too much for me. This fifty-something would rather be a lot poorer and have time to get outside and enjoy nature. I had almost 20 years as a teacher, and it is time to leave it at that. I'm now looking for any kind of retail, customer service, or food related job. Lesson learned - misery and money often go hand in hand, and the price tag is too high for me!

New challenges for the fall

2011-08-11T07:49:00.001-07:00

Just when you think it will never happen...I received a call back on a pre-K teaching position I applied for, interviewed and accepted the job! This happened around my birthday - best present ever! I am sorting through little kid stuff, making displays, having fun!

My son starts college next week, and today is dorm move in day. It is just a 45 minute drive away though. My husband is going to help with the loading and unloading. It will be an adjustment. The house is going to feel very empty. Not that he was always around anyway!

I see there's one spot left on a post at present....Pelicans are so cool!

Here's a recent sunset from Tybee. I haven't seen any manatees yet this year; have seen lots of dolphin pods with plenty of little ones playing. This month the jellyfish are making it hard to stay in the water without pain, and the black flies make sitting on the beach uncomfortable as well...this too shall pass by September....

July - the heat is on!

2011-07-20T13:32:00.001-07:00

Sunday morning I took a walk at Ft. Pulaski on Cockspur Island. I love all the canals and side trails!

My "reward" for walking 3 miles is a nice seat by the water! I would surely lose my sanity if I wasn't near a large body of water....

I love sunflowers! My hubby grew just a couple of the large ones - this one is about 9 feet tall. I loved that I caught a bee busy on it! My husband has gotten back into gardening more. Right now we are getting plenty of tomatoes. Earlier we had radishes and lettuce.

Cherished moments in June

2011-06-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

I can't believe June 2011 is almost history! I am working thru my summer "to do" list. Hubby is teaching summer school, and my son is chilling after high school graduation. I took this pic of a dolphin during a local eco day cruise on Father's Day. I love these animals, and never get tired of seeing them! I have seen a manatee again at the Tybee north channel - wonder if it is the same one from last year? The other pic is an early sunset on the north channel - a favorite time and location for me.

I think the highest point of my parenting years, with the exception of birth, was seeing my son lead the procession for his high school as class valedictorian, and then giving his speech. He did an awesome job! It was a surreal experience - one I'll never forget!

Endings, beginnings, new discoveries

2011-05-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

I was feeling out of sorts and out of balance this hot May morning, so I took off for a walk at Tybee. I've stayed fairly busy sub teaching, and the jobs are harder as the students get tired of school. So today I blew off any possiblility of working...I love the way the morning sun shines on the waves! This is one of my favorite views of the Tybee Lighthouse.

The first pic made my day, my month, my entire year! In all my days of trail walking in Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia, I have never seen a bobcat in the wild. Bears, yes, bobcats, no. Of course they are normally noctural. I've always seen scat, but that's it. Sunday at Fort Pulaski, near Tybee Island, my husband and I saw one at 9am, as our car passed by marsh and forest areas to get to the parking lot. What a rush!

I've been reading, off and on, a book by Dr. Henry Cloud on Necessary Endings, the employers, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward. I never really thought about it before, but to start a new challenge or relationship, you usually have to say goodbye to something.

My son graduates from high school in June. He was already dual enrolled full time at the local college. I am excited for him to be going back, this time with a dorm to end a rather aggravating commute. Definitely a big ending and beginning for him!

Still lots of gloom and doom on the educational front...more teachers layed off, less pay for those who stay. Looks like my husband's job is secure, but I am anticipating a third year of subbing instead of teaching. I love the freedom but sometimes I really miss not having my own students.

Climbing mountains....

2011-05-13T13:03:00.001-07:00

I was climbing mountains during Easter break. The top two photos are from Crabtree Falls, Virginia, just off the Blue Ridge Parkway. This has been a favorite mountain hike of my family for generations. As a kid, I could climb the two miles up, view the falls, and make the two miles down, as an "after dinner" walk. I didn't make it to the top of Crabtree this spring, primarily because....I climbed Sharp Top Mountain, part of the Peaks of Otter, just off the Blue Ridge Parkway, the day before and some muscles were really sore! The curse of being a coastal Georgia flatlands hiker! The bottom two photos show the view from Sharp Top. There is nothing like standing on a mountaintop for clearing the mind and opening yourself to new challenges!

Buttercups

2011-03-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

Early March, and a small row of buttercups stands next to my mailbox. A resolute harbinger of spring, the sturdy stalks push up from the cold ground. And just when I think, "o.k., this is it," a few more shoots emerge overnight.

I'm thinking of my Granny, 94 and in a nursing home following a hospitalization for a lung and fluid problem. For her, this is likely a slow decline, before she leaves us. I remember the buttercups lining her driveway, and how excited she was to see them each year!

Diving/working through life

2011-02-27T16:09:00.001-08:00

I've been watching pelicans dive for fish, here at 1pm on Sunday at the north beach rock jetty. Today is a real tease for spring; apparently the shore birds sense it also. I see various types of gulls, pelicans, and what I think are cormorants floating in the surf - perhaps more than I've seen at any time just floating. I suspect some schools of fish are running parallel to the beach.

Mark is sitting beside me writing in his journal. We walked to the north channel, then went to the car to get chairs and writing materials. There are a fair number of people on the beach, some already in swimsuits, and a few young children in the surf. The water still feels pretty cold to me, but I did walk in my bare feet (and loved every minute of it!) Yea, spring!!!

Tybee - more ebb and flow

2011-02-07T15:44:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are sitting between a couple of small sand dunes, looking out toward the water to the distant horizon of sky and sea. I can hear the persistent droning of a small plane as it circles around Tybee Island. Today is blissfully sunny. The breeze has a distinct nip, hence the sand dune location, which blocks the worst of the wind. Waves gently hit the sand - unseen from my current location but heard nontheless. Several seagulls sit about 50 yards from us, checking for signs of food in our writing bags. Sorry, fellas!

Just as we are huddled between sand mounds, Savannah is between two rain systems. One moved out yesterday, after two dismal, mind numbing days of steady drizzle and downpour; another will be upon us tomorrow. This evening is "Super Bowl" time. I'm betting I will have plenty of sub teaching opportunities tomorrow...

My life is still "up in the air" - will I get offered another teaching job ever? Will I continue as a sub? Can I afford to be a sub? What will be my second act at age 50? Do I want to go back to school? Could I even do that while my son is in college? I am grateful, with so many questions, to be in a "no obligation" situation for now. No contracts, no worries. Ebb and flow, ebb and flow....

Beach moments...

2011-01-29T14:21:00.000-08:00

Sitting in a canvas beach chair facing the north channel, with the sun warming my back and a cool breeze tickling my face. Savannah's high was to be around 67 degrees today. I'm trying to write but feel the pull of sleep listening to the tide lap at the banks. The sound is different from breakers on the main beach - more gentle, hypnotic and rhythmic. I could sleep and put off writing so easily...

I've watched two ships come in - a car carrier and an Asian freighter. Nearby sea gulls seem disappointed that I'm not munching on anything. They pass nonchalantly by, switching from walking to swimming.

Winter blues in the sky make the water appear more blue and clear than it actually is. I see islands on the horizon - one is Hilton Head, the other Daufuskie. The tide is coming in - in a few minutes I will have to move my chair to avoid wet feet. Like a fresh salty breeze, my mind feels unfettered and open.

Mark is with me. Together we walked around the channel back toward the north beach. We found the carcass of a Sheep's Head fish. Many small jellyfish had also washed up on the beach. I saw the fish bones yesterday, but since then someone has taken the teeth out of the fish's mouth. They were pretty scary looking! A reminder that many ocean dwellers besides sharks have teeth.

The breeze is becoming a bit more chilling and cutting - more of a slap than a tickle - as the sun drops a bit in the afternoon sky. No perfect moment can last forever!

January passages...

2011-01-23T13:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted anything all month, due to recent life events. My mother-in-law, who suffered from bipolar disorder all of her life and multiple sclerosis for a decade, passed away December 31st, after being in ICU for almost three months. Thankfully she was in a hospice facility for the last two days; wish my stepfather-in-law would have accepted hospice care sooner. My husband and his brother logged many hours at the hospital. Interestingly enough, my husband Mark was present for the sudden death of his father from a heart attack almost 30 years ago, and he was present when his mother also took her last breath. She loved the beach, so I'm posting a couple of pics in her honor...

I'm finishing up a long term sub job as a teacher's aide in a kindergarten inclusion class tomorrow. I've learned a lot about teaching younger kids, which was helpful since most of my experience is with 4th-8th grades. I've also been able to work with students with Downs Syndrome, which was a new experience. I was recently moved into another regular kindergarten class to work only with one conduct disorder child from the previous room. I am all for inclusion, except when a child who hurts others has the right to stay in the mainstream. I'm happy to be finishing up, as this one-on-one situation is not my cup of teaching tea! So....I'll be back in the sub pool again, waiting for the phone to ring....

Merry Christmas from Savannah, Georgia!

2010-12-24T08:58:00.001-08:00

I'm going to post some recent beach pics. I will walk on the beach, unless it is very, very, very cold - say freezing or below! Our unusually cold temps have resulted in probems for some sea life. I saw the remains of a sea turtle wash up on shore this week, plus numerous starfish.

I'm relieved to have a mental and physical break from my teacher's aide job. It was fun to experience the anticipation of Christmas through the eyes of kindergartners! I say a little glitter on your clothes, your body, your hair, your food just makes everything more festive....:)

Pondering end of life and quality of life issues, as my mother-in-law is once again in the hospital with complications from MS. This has been going on since October. Before, though she was confined to bed pretty much, she could feed herself and carry on a conversation. Now you cannot understand her when she tries to speak, and she has oxygen, IVs, feeding tube and catheter. I'm praying for her comfort, and for mercy. This has been hard on my husband, his brother, and her husband. My family is in Virginia, and I didn't feel like trying to travel there. I've been busy this morning cooking, to send food to family members taking shifts at hospital. The ability to see, hear, taste and touch is a wondrous thing, as well as the ability to move around and experience life!

Balancing act

2010-12-08T13:37:00.003-08:00

I'm trying to stay balanced right now - not fall down, literally and figuratively! Here I am in the month of December, working in a long term temp job helping a special needs kindergarten class. Every day we do a few exercises in class, to stretch and change activities. News flash! It ain't easy balancing on one leg holding the other when you are 50 years old!

In southern Georgia we are having an artic blast, with highs in the 40s this week. At least that constitutes an arctic blast to us. I did not walk on the beach last weekend, but did the weekend before, and took these pics.

I would probably need major meds to live further north, as I have felt sorta depressed last two weeks. I attribute this to ---end of life issues with my mother-in-law being so ill, a series of car repairs, a very tight budget, a son going to college. But enough whine...To put this all in perspective, my husband and I went to an art show featuring a student of his who is battling brain tumors. Now that's a REAL challenge! I just need a little more time in the sun...and another beach walk - whether it's 40 degrees or 60 degrees!

Cool but cozy...

2010-11-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

At last! Cool fall weather in southern Georgia! I made my first fire of the season last night, and my first "real" fire in about six years (not using fake logs). I forgot how wonderful wood smells and crackles...ahhh..Hubby and I watched Men Who Stare at Goats, which spoofed the psychic craze the army tried to get in on decades ago, and lots of laughs about army procedures and funding. Very strange movie but had cute guys in it as well (George Clooney and Ewan McGregor).

Changes in my employment life...I was offered a temp job as a teacher's aide in an inclusion kindergarten class. My contract ends in mid March, with possiblity of extending it. Don't know if I will do that. For $10 an hour I am CONSTANTLY busy with kids or taking instructions from the teacher. I love helping the kids though, especially the two in the room with Down's Syndrome, and one who is physically handicapped. However, there is one kid with behavior problems, and he is a challenge to keep up with...I also attended a meeting about a new private school that is starting up in the area for next year. If the school gets in enough students in the upper grades (4th,5th,6th) I will possibly have a teaching job for next year. Don't want to get my hopes up...

I am headed soon to the beach, for a brisk walk!

Holding steady....almost!

2010-10-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in about a month. I have been trying to grab every sub job I could, and was working away happily until a week ago Sunday, when I woke up SICK. I have had every symptom you can name, but the worst was the constant headaches, fevers and weakness. I'm sure I could have worked today but decided I wanted to wait another day or two. Tuesday is a hair appointment reschedule day (you know I am sick when I cancel a hair trim) so nothing is going to prevent me from achieving my goal of decent looking hair!

My walk on the beach a week ago is like a distant dream. I love the color of the sky this time of year, and the air was really cool! Only negative - I cut my toe on an oyster shell. Yes, I have walked this beach hundreds of times, and I know about the shells. Maybe it is a middle age thing....

I saw some feedback about a recent show that Oprah did on education. I didn't see the show, so I can't judge, but I do know our system is failing, despite federal and state fix it programs, and endless testing and accountability. Could I succinctly sum up the problems, as I see them, in a blog? Hmmm....save that for another post!

Freedom

2010-09-14T04:38:00.001-07:00

This is a pic of Tybee Lighthouse and restored lightkeeper's cottage - one of my favorite flag locations. I didn't post on Sept 11th but certainly have been thinking about it. Everyone remembers where they were at that time. I was teaching at a private school for learning differences. Soon after the first plane hit, a couple of military families came to pick up their kids. On my first break, I went to the director's office, where the only TV was. By then they were announcing the Pentagon attack. I assumed we were receiving multiple attacks, and that martial law would be declared. I also wondered if we'd be making a makeshift fallout shelter.I remember the day after was more significant for me. I started the day with a 2nd grade Language Arts class. We were told not to bring up the attack with the young kids, but if they brought up the subject, to let them talk. We started our day the usual way, with a three sentence paragraph and picture in our journals. Every child (ten in room) wrote about the attack, and each one drew a picture of the twin towers as the first plane hit. I had ten identical pictures, and the accuracy was stunning.

My thought for the times we live in - Christianity and Patriotism , when these become fanatical, are just a boot click away from Fascism.

A Day in the Life of A Substitute Teacher

2010-09-03T04:20:00.000-07:00

God, I am missing the beach! With public school starting this week, I haven't been out to walk. Since this weekend is Labor Day weekend, I may not get out much then either, due to crowds and traffic on our small coastal highway...beach withdrawal in process here....getting a bit light-headed and clammy just thinking about it.....I took these pics one evening last week. I love sandpipers! They seem to work so hard for the little morsels they get...kind of like how I feel as a sub teacher....

I get up each morning at 6am and turn on my computer, to see any computer job listings as well as waiting for the phone to ring. That means taking my cell phone with me everywhere in the am....Our system is only using certified teachers, but I would guess there are about 400 of them, all huddled over their computers in the morning, waiting to "peck" at a job. I did get a call Tuesday and went to an elementary school I haven't ever been to before. Thank goodness for Goole maps (can't afford GPS)!

The school has actually been razed to build a new school. It was a pile of rubble, with a maze of portables surrounding it. You could easilty get lost just going to the cafeteria. I was in a 1st grade room with only 14 students, but that number seemed multiplied by the end of the day. The teacher was also out on Monday, so this was the second day of school, with a second sub...don't you feel sorry for these little guys? I did! Most had no crayons and no pencils; not all had a lunch. I bring a number of things along on a sub job, but didn't have crayons. Also, there were no sub plans. Other teachers ran off stuff for me.

I took the class to breakfast about 9am, as instructed, along with all the 1st grades. We did not get back with our food until 10am. We were supposed to go to recess at 11:30, but another teacher told me to wait for her and she was late, so only 10 minutes of recess. Hey, I believe in recess! We then proceed to lunch, which is also late. The lunch monitor relieved me for about 20 minutes to scramble back to the room, use the restroom (holding for 5 hours - a personal record at age 50), and nibble some lunch. Sub teaching is great for weight loss!

We muddled through some lessons, but I could see I was losing them in the late afternoon. They were supposed to go to another teacher for 40 minutes, but she was a "no show." I have found that when resource teachers find out there is a sub, they tend to "disappear." Curses on her! The teacher I went to recess with kindly offered to watch my brood for about 15 minutes so I could gather my energy. My savior! By the end of the day, there was trash all over the floor, those who had crayons had busted most of them and tossed them on the floor, and a couple of books were torn, but hey, there were no tears or injuries. I survived another day in the life of a sub teacher!

Shaken, not stirred....

2010-08-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

On Friday the 13th, I decided to run errands in town. As I neared an intersection famous for accidents, I could see that I had the green light and people were lined up on both sides to turn left as well. The group facing me was waiting, which was good, then suddenly a white car pulled out in front of me. He made it but the motorcycle that came after him did not. I hit the cycle, mostly with my right bumper, and the cycle burst into flames. I pulled over, got out, and with wobbly knees and trembling hands looked frantically for a body as I tried to dial 911. The guy was walking around and o.k., thank goodness. I couldn't bear the thought that I might have been a factor in someone getting hurt or killed, even if it was unavoidable. I will never forget the sound of crunching metal on metal, or the image in my rearview mirror of a motorcycle in flames. In 33 years of driving, this is my first accident other than a minor fender bender. It is a very real reminder of how life can change in an instant. I'm still feeling a bit shaken, and hesitant to drive. Today I went back to do the beforementioned errands, but I was very nervous....

My son started dual enrollment for his senior year at the college across town yesterday. I was a bit more anxious than I normally would have been, in light of my recent accident. He loves the college scene, but does hate the traffic and commute. He will only have to go there 3 days a week, at least.

I went to sub teacher orientation last week, required for my district each year, and did my drug test. Next week I get my sub badge and the following week school, and hopefully jobs, start. No calls on permanent jobs from the ones I have applied for. Oh well. I really don't think public education will recover from the economic downturn. I believe we will move toward online learning for middle and high school, and have privatized public elementary in each state. I also believe the number of private schools will dwindle. Not trying to sound gloomy, just looking at the reality of it. I need to try for some online jobs....

Cool experience of the week: I saw my first manatee in the north channel near our beach a week ago. It was dusk and my husband and I saw what we thought at first was an alligator, then a log, then....I suddenly saw this big, smooth body with a cute manatee face (that perhaps only a mother could love) right in front of me, just two feet away in the shallow water. He slowly reversed and moved out to deeper water. We saw another manatee in the same spot last night. Perhaps they are territorial and this was the same one.

Mountains' Majesty

2010-08-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

I am back from a week in the Blue Ridge Mountains with my husband, which included a visit with my family. We saw this deer on one Virginia trail and were able to walk by without scaring her. The house is my grandfather's family home, which sits on family property and includes a family cemetery. I love the pic of the other path because it looks like an enchanted forest. The word "verdant" really applies here! The sunset was in the North Carolina mountains. The blue ridges really did seem to go on forever.

Summer's "To Do" List...

2010-07-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

I expected to see God walking out to address the world from behind this cloud...

We have decided to go into the mountains for a week, while our teenager remains at home; will we have a house to return to?

While making this decision to travel, I noticed a curious dripping, moldy spot outside our kitchen window, which seems to indicate a leak that will need to be fixed soon. Hope hubby doesn't change his mind on trip....

I have painted one room and one foyer area in the house and I am absolutely sick of house painting! So much for the bathrooms getting painted and the kitchen...

I have been getting inundated with teaching offers for next year --NOT! Resigned to another year of subbing...

On the positive side, I had a lovely lunch this week with teacher friends (several who have left the school I was at and, like me, prefer sanity to money.

I walked at the beach two evenings and saw gorgeous sunsets - no two are ever alike! I saw an unusual sky last night, one hour before sunset, with pinks and blues peeking from behind the clouds. My pics really don't do it justice.

Lazy, hazy days of summer....

2010-07-12T12:33:00.001-07:00

I'm in the midst of the summer "pull" - with urges to take morning or late evening walks (only times I can stand the heat), to drop by local fruit and veggie stands, to whittle away the afternoon in air-conditioned comfort reading, and to watch the beach sunsets. We had "marvelous" Fourth of July weather, with day temps only in the 80s, so my husband and I were a couple of walking fools. I took this pic of one lighthouse during a morning walk in the early July weather change (you can see the rougher tide), and one after sunset.

Yes, I have crossed a few things off my "to do" list - going through storage boxes and files, and some inside painting of one room, plus the usual closet and garage cleanups. I have recycled endlessly at Goodwill...dropping off old clothes and electronics, then going inside to browse for bargains. Even my son is hooked on Goodwill. Which is great because we certainly live on a Goodwill budget....I'm grateful for these unscheduled days, when I can get up and decide what I want to do...teaching days will come soon enough. Love that southern coastal life (with a glass of chilled wine, beer or a margarita!)

Looking toward the future...

2010-06-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

I took this pic last night, sitting at the channel. My husband and I watched dozens and dozens of dolphins jumping and swimming near shrimp boats that came in and anchored for the night in the channel. If you look closely you can see one mother dolphin with a young one surfacing.
I watched Avatar two evenings ago, after we received it from Netflix. Great film obviously for the special effects, but also for the story. Humans have done so much to ruin this beautiful world of ours, through ignorance and greed, but I like to believe that we can salvage it.
I've been thinking about the recent high school graduates, since my son has a number of friends who graduated this year. As a teacher and parent, my wish for young people is that they connect in a very real way with the natural world and people around them. That which you have heard, seen and experienced first hand becomes important to you, and worth fighting for.
When I heard the comment made by the BP CEO about "wanting his life back," I understood that for him, the Gulf of Mexico and the people who live there don't really matter; probably, like many people, the natural world doesn't really matter to him in any concrete way. If you have stood at the ocean's edge, watching dolphins leap and pelicans dive, or wandered mossy, verdant paths through mountain forests, watching deer graze and chipmunks scamper, then those living things really, truly matter. I'm treasuring these days at home near the ocean, looking foward to a summer trip to the mountains, and hoping for a better future for our natural world.

Summer beach fun...hope it lasts

2010-06-08T14:08:00.001-07:00

I am "out" of school, in a sense. I finished one long term sub teacher job a week ago, and though the public schools have this week left, I am not shopping around for last minute, last week jobs! I'll stay poor but sane. I'd be a "dead sub walking," for sure! Waiting to get any nibbles on job applications, and I did have one interview last week, but didn't get it. My husband finally got his old teaching job back, but it will be funded by federal money. Hmm....hope the money is still there come August!

Instead of doing dozens of jobs around the outside and inside of the house, I took myself to the beach this morning to walk, swim and read a trashy paperback. I left close to middle of the day, as temps heated up. I did restore some order in the universe by getting some groceries and dropping off a bunch of books at Goodwill. My son wanted to make a "teenager" living room out of the other small bedroom next to his, so we spent the weekend cleaning it out and finding a new place for the things in that room. He is excited to be doing dual enrollment for his senior year of high school. We still have a few details to work out over the summer.

This morning was a low tide, and I love being in the ocean water when it is calm. As I paddled around, I couldn't help wondering how long it will be before the great oil spill makes it to the Atlantic coast. I've lived here most of my life, and yes, I have taken it for granted at times. To have that possibly taken away...not to mention the tremendous loss to people and wildlife....here's hoping and praying that our summer fun can last!

Sunset, then sunrise....

2010-05-23T14:28:00.001-07:00

I haven't posted very much lately, but for a good reason! I've been working in a long term substitute teaching position at a school I worked at eight years ago. It's a private school geared to students with learning differences. They probably won't have a full-time job next year, but a part-time looks likely! My husband did receive a teaching contract from the public schools, but hasn't been placed in a job yet. His school's staff was "fired" under the No Child Left Behind criteria. The whole "fire the staff" thing is off base really. And I know you can't "fire" the students, though goodness knows they are not there by choice! Perhaps it is better to revamp leadership and the overall approach instead. One thing is for certain - our public schools have a very challenging population. I'd like to see more alternative schools. A high school student was raped in the hallway during classes this week. Of course details on the case are not available to the public, but whether the charge is legitimate or not, obviously students were engaging in activities not related to academics. I know there have also been You Tube videos of what goes on inside some classrooms. Actually, I think students with cell phones is a good idea. It brings public attention to problems in a way just talking about it doesn't. A picture IS worth a thousand words! Speaking of pics, I took this sunset pic this month. Our weekend evening beach walks help with teacher stress! Sunset....sunrise.....

What washes ashore, washes back out

2010-05-09T18:10:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend - just enjoying going out to eat (and drink a couple of well-deserved margaritas), and watching the sun set on the beach. My husband and I also went downtown to the market and bought fresh strawberries and tomatoes. I have a long term substitute teacher position for May, filling in for a teacher who is ill. Though I'd rather secure work under happier circumstances, I guess that is the role of a sub anyway. The job is no "walk in the park," as it is for middle schoolers with learning disabilities and/or behavioral challenges. Began to get very tired last week, so will slow things down this week. My husband teaches at a school where the entire staff was basically "fired," per the requirements of the No Child Left Behind legisation. He doesn't know, after 25 years in the system, if he has a job. I haven't had any offers either, and with teachers being laid off right and left, I'm not hopeful. Who would have thought so many teachers would be out of work? I say, what washes ashore, will wash back out eventually.

Every day is a new beginning and a new ending...

2010-04-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

Pic on the left was taken on the beach this morning, and pic on the right was taken yesterday evening. I just have miscellaneous things to report today, and I'll start with the best...

We just received notice that my son won two writing contests - a local writing contest sponsored by the Jewish Federation regarding lessons learned from the Holocaust, and a national writing contest sponsored by the Colonial Dames of America. I'm so proud of him! He really is quite a writer, and a great person!

We had a "staycation" for spring break, and my parents came for a few days. It is a long drive for them but I think everyone had a good time. Right before Easter my husband and I ate a lunch out with the in-laws. This event was marred by the fact that they gave my son a hard time, via a phone call at 9am Easter Sunday to his cell, about not coming. Mind you, this child has faithfully visited my mother-in-law regularly for years, and just happened to have a job lined up helping a friend. I've been putting up with this kind of attitude for years, but I get steamed when an innocent teenager gets caught in their guilt trips/traps.

The news about teaching jobs in our city and state is not good. Hopefully we will know by June if my husband has a contract; not holding out much hope for myself. The bottom line? A number of teachers won't get one. Time to fill out that McDonald's application....

I'm thankful we are together as a family, and that we have beautiful surroundings to destress in. I try to remember that each day is a new beginning and a new ending.

Seizing the day in a strange new economical world...

2010-04-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

I have had this week off from substitute teaching, along with my high school age son and teacher husband. We are having a "staycation," but I am not suffering, with lots of nature walks. I took this pic several days ago on a 4 mile hike.

I've still not heard of any full-time teacher openings in the public or private sector within driving distance of my home, and my husband's school is being reorganized and "reprincipaled," (cute term, don' cha think?) so he is not sure what job he will get, or even if there will be a job, period. Teacher layoffs across the nation are becoming commonplace. It is a strange new world when education is valued so little.

Hmm...what else can I do with my education degree that I haven't already tried? I've done the nonprofit thing, the teacher thing.....is age 49 too late to train for a new career?

I'm trying to enjoy these beautiful April days, one a time, thankful that I can put one foot in front of the other to get outside, and that I can at least make some money as a substitute.

Lessons from a dog

2010-03-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is Wigley Jack, enjoying a sunny, warm spot perched atop a tree stump in our backyard, just this past weekend. He is now eleven years old, and has had a multitude of health problems over the past year, the most serious of which was dental surgery in June to remove eleven teeth (there's that same number again!). We have just found out he has kidney stones or a tumor or something like that, and have made the difficult decision to stop xrays, tests and procedures, and let him enjoy his final days, weeks or months. We feel this is the kindest thing, and also the only choice considering our tight budget. We have spent about $3,000 above normal vet expenses this year, and just can't afford any more.

I've been reflecting on life with Wigley, who has been a stalwart friend through good times and bad....here is what dogs can teach you ...
1. Dogs greet each day the same, with a certain amount of enthusiasm. They don't know if they are going on a vet visit or a special, extra long walk with treats at the end. They never stress about the future, beyond the next meal or arrival home of family members.
2. Dogs love unconditionally - they don't keep a tally of grievances in their heads. They forgive almost anything, and move on from that moment.
3. Dogs love the simple things - a good bowl of kibble, a stroll around the neighborhood, a roll in some soft grass, chasing a squirrel from the bird feeder.
4. Dogs, even an active Jack Russell in this case, will lay uncomplaining by your side when you are sick or recovering from surgery, and never whine because you can't do anything "fun."
5. Dogs make you feel better when you are down, without requiring an explanation from you.
6. Dogs teach you not to be a compulsive house cleaner - what's a little hair, dirt, slobber, throwup among buddies?
7. Dogs trust...I mean REALLY trust...in a way most humans can't.

Have you told the dog in your life how much you love him/her today?:)

Clones- No light at the end of this tunnel

2010-03-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

I just saw a thought-provoking, stylish movie (think 2001 A Space Odyssey meets Matrix) about the use of human clones, called Moon. In the movie, clones of one man were used for three years at time, one after the other, to oversee a mining operation on the moon. Each clone thought at the end of three years he was heading home to a young wife, who had actually already died of old age. Even though they were clones, each varied in temperament a bit, and finally one clone started to figure the situation out, and due to an error by the computer, another clone was activated before the other had died, and together the two clones work to send one of them back to Earth.

In an odd way this sort of parallels an education issue that has been on my mind. We are so focused on creating an educational system solely based on test scores that we are simply working to create "Stepford" children, later adults, or "clones" to enter the work force. What about creativity and individuality? Wasn't the success of our country based on the efforts of some to "buck" the system? I am substitute teaching at different schools in our city, and right now I am spending a lot of time at a private school that educates students who learn differently. Some students have ADD, ADHD, anxiety disorders, OCD, or some degree of autism. A fellow teacher I used to work with asked me if I thought that such diagnoses were on the rise. Yes, I do agree. The question is: is it because we want to "weed out" those who don't fit our test factory school system, or is it due to environmental/modern life issues, or both?
I believe there will be no light at the end of this educational tunnel, unless we set aside our testing data and graphs!

Following my path....

2010-02-28T15:52:00.000-08:00

This past Tuesday I received a random call from a public school which had a 5th grade job opening, and on Wednesday I interviewed. Now I've had a job application online for 3 years....this is the second interview I've had. The job sounded like the sort I am good at - starting with low achieving students late in the year. Bottom line - I didn't get the job - got a rejection email on Saturday morning. The premise of the job was disturbing (but at the time, I'm not going to question it - it IS a teaching job!!). The principal was taking 4 students from each of the 5th grade homerooms and placing them with this new teacher. They would not be told ahead of time. All of the students failed portions of the state's testing, and the purpose of starting this new classroom is to bring up test scores this year. However, the test is less than two months away. A tall order to ask students to leave friends, bond with a new teacher, and improve their scores. Still, I felt I was a good candidate, and it hurts to be passed over. I am trying to follow the path that God has placed before me, wherever it leads. I am grateful that I am getting enough sub jobs to make my raggedy budget! I especially like getting to know the students I see every Friday at the private school for students who learn "differently." I like to think I teach differently!

Hanging together on Valentine's Day

2010-02-15T12:59:00.000-08:00

My husband and I took a Valentine's Day walk on the beach yesterday afternoon. Even the shore birds seemed to appreciate the sun, either lazily floating on the calm, low tide, or sitting and standing clustered facing into the sun. The 50 something temps were eased by the strong sun, with not a wisp of a cloud to challenge it. I just finished reading an interesting book - Marriage and Other Acts of Charity by Kate Braestrup, who lost her first husband in a car accident, became an ordained chaplain, and remarried. She says that while 50% of marriages end in divorce, 100% end period, meaning that all of our lives are going to END. So I start off my work week - 3 days of being a gifted teacher sub at a public school, and 1 day at my regular part-time Friday teaching gig - trying to remember to appreciate each day, most moments if not all....as these are finite by definition.

Dropping out....

2010-02-09T05:37:00.000-08:00

The local paper ran an article yesterday about the state of Georgia possibly raising the dropout age from 16 to 17. For many, I know the gut reaction is, "Great, keep them in school and off the street!" But I believe this will have a detrimental effect on our already floundering local system, leading to more chaos in the classroom, more budget woes, and more student flight to online learning and private schooling. I grew up in this system, taught in this system for six years, have a husband teaching in this sytem, and have a son in high school in this system. I know whereof I speak! I commend our board superintendent for advising caution, and I applaud the board reps who are against the change.

Our high schools are largely "run" by the miscreants, in the sense that they drive most policy decisions, school climate and academic opportunities. Should everyone have the same resources and opportunities? OF COURSE! But students who WANT to be in school and students who DO NOT WANT to be in school need very different approaches. Forcing a student to stay in school will not improve the outcome.

At my son's school, students who don't care about their education often trash the cafeteria and hallways, and partake and sell drugs in some restrooms. At school assemblies, they yell and almost riot. The boy's restrooms have no doors or toilet paper (sound like another institution? prison maybe?). He is fortunate in that he qualifies for AP classes, with great teachers and students. However, he still has to survive inside the school building. Due to changes we made to his schedule earlier this year, he was in a lower level English class for about two weeks, until thankfully a spot opened up in an AP class. The students threw books in the room and took his paper to copy answers all around the room. As a teacher, I talked about just doing your work, trying to connect with peers, etc. He remarked, "well, all the white students talk about beating up gay people, and all the black students talk about how much they hate whites. I don't think I can connect with those two mentalities."

My husband teaches in the system at a middle school. The alternative schools have a revolving door, with students coming back and forth, causing chaos in the regular school when they return. I strongly believe in alternative settings, but you need adequate resources and you need to keep students there for the year, possibly permanently. Three strikes and you're out is not a bad idea. I taught at a private institution that had resident students who have gone through the foster care system and were in danger of incarceration, and day students who had either been kicked out of public or private schools. Class sizes were small, and teachers had training to meet the needs of the student population. Everyone was in the same boat, so to speak. I like to say I saw miracles happen, but those miracles often took several years.

I challenge churches and civic groups to step up and help our young people - don't put it all on our already taxed school system. I challenge every board member to visit the schools they serve on a daily basis, and drop in unannounced in classrooms, lunchrooms and yes, even restrooms. Not to spy but to get a good sense of what teachers and administrators are dealing with. This is not the year to step up the dropout age; not until everyone can step up and admit we have a huge problem that needs fixing.

Feeding the soul and spirit

2010-02-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

I obviously have more free time this week! No substitute jobs lined up. Since the weather here in Georgia has been much colder and wetter than I ever remember (yes, I know, at least we are not dealing with snow), I took two hours to wander on the beach. There is nothing like feeling the morning sun on your face, and a cool breeze in your hair!

Minding our manners and our selves...

2010-02-08T05:35:00.000-08:00

I just finished up a week and a half substitute teaching at a school I taught at previously, a private one that educates students with learning differences. I really, really love working with students who really need individualized help!

While certainly many students had trouble with anger control and anxiety, I was so impressed with the social skills they are learning! Some middle schoolers introduced themselves and shook my hand! Actually, of the three private schools I have worked at, all three emphasized manners (and two served special populations). The private school that was general acadmics for pre-K through 8th grade has always stressed "minding your manners."

However, all around me I see so many students and adults who have left basic civility by the wayside. I hope and pray that manners will not be engulfed by a caveman mentality and washed out to sea!

Twisting and turning with the flow

2010-01-26T05:07:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy to see blue sky this morning, even if the temps are in the 40s right now. I'm heading to the grocery first, then later a walk at a federal park near where I live (which also has some beach area as well). I start another sub job on Wednesday, to continue through next week.

A friend and former colleague buried her husband yesterday; he succumbed to pancreatic cancer late last week. He was diagnosed last spring, and fought the good fight with surgery and chemo. Certainly this has led to a lot of parallels, as my husband started with health problems last spring; his situation had a happier ending, at least for now. I am reminded and humbled by the knowledge that life is a precious gift, and none of us know the number of our days.

Like this photo of the tide meandering through channels on the sandbar, our lives take unexpected twists and turns.

Changing days, changing tides

2010-01-17T13:48:00.000-08:00

I have been sub teaching for two weeks, with more jobs lined up. I am so appreciative now of having a paycheck! Most importantly, I felt that I was using my training and talents. Those two weeks, incidentally, were two of the coldest I ever remember experiencing in the deep south! We are back to more seasonable weather, with a high today in the 60s. Since it was Sunday, my husband and I took a beach walk (of course!). I like to think of nature as God's sanctuary. I never really felt close to God in a church (the exception being a couple of one of a kind experiences in churches in Europe.) I do feel an overwhelming sense of peace and fulfillment in a natural setting. Just as there are days/times of inclement weather, there are days of sunshine and warmth!

Being Different

2009-12-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have been downloading a lot of movies from Netflix over the two week teacher holiday, as there is very little to watch on basic cable right now. Two nights ago we watched "Phoebe in Wonderland," about a 10 year old girl being diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome. I highly recommend this movie to every teacher and parent, especially if you have limited experience with students who learn differently. I have started subbing again, as I noted in previous posts, and will be going back to one of my previous employers - a private school dedicated to students who learn differently. This post tonight is in honor of those who don't quite fit in, those who ask the wrong questions or say the wrong thing, those who go to the left when everyone else goes to the right, those who obsess over the miniscule to bring order and sense to the world - you are a precious gift!

Blue Christmas in Georgia

2009-12-23T15:47:00.001-08:00

A "blue Christmas" for me is hardly a sad one! For me, it refers to the color of the sky and ocean water at this time of year. This shrimp boat seems to be floating on air! Normally our water looks brown or green.

I am grateful for the sun, after so many rainy days in December, grateful for good health, that allows me to get outside and walk and enjoy nature, grateful for family and friends to share with, and grateful for the freedoms we enjoy in our country, such as freedom of religion.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Keeping up with the little elves

2009-12-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

This week I subbed one day as a teacher's aide in a pre-K class, and two days as a teacher in a Kindergarten class. It's been five years since I have worked intensely with younger children, and I have a new humility and appreciation for what these teachers do, on a daily basis, seven to eight hours (or more) a day, five days a week! Mind you, these were well-behaved children overall - it is just the age and time of year! They reminded me of little elves, darting here and there, and guess what? You have to keep up with them! I'm probably going to go back to the K class on Monday, but for today I'm having humble pie and lots of rest on a rainy, cold Saturday!

Holding patterns....in flight

2009-11-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

Of course I was out on the beach the day after Thanksgiving, and particularly enjoyed watching the shore birds - the sandpipers, the skimmers, the plovers, the seagulls, the pelicans, and a few others I don't know the names of! They were gathered in mass on the north beach.

This holiday weekend has had its share of ups and downs. I went with my son to take his driving test the day before Thanksgiving, his birthday, and he did not pass. What a bummer for him and what a heartache for me! But he is over it and determined to retake it next week...

Our family went to the in-laws in a nearby Georgia town for Thanksgiving. Actually one of the better visits with in-laws, and a great meal. No big dramas. Maybe the beer helped. Also this was the first day of sun in over a week - an unusual weather pattern for our area.

Looking at the shore birds, I noticed that the sandpipers change positions every few minutes, the front birds going to the back, so that no one has the head wind for too long. Smart birds! I took a number of pictures of the skimmers in flight - the black and white looked great against the blue sky and blue water.

I guess this weekend I am in a "holding pattern" in flight - grateful for the people in my life, and the experiences I've had.

C'mon sun, shine on through!

2009-11-21T17:56:00.001-08:00

I took this picture Friday morning at the beach. The sun was trying so hard to shine through the clouds and fog! I feel like I am waiting....for the fog in my life to clear up as well.

Thomas had a discouraging week in high school. His friends were in "The Glass Menagerie," being performed for the entire student body (whoever bought a $1 ticket) and the behavior of many was so poor that it was almost impossible to enjoy the play. He had advisement and is frustrated about his transcript - reasons a bit unclear. Being in the IB program for two years, he should be well ahead of others in credits. Maybe he is just frustrated that he may not be able to get all the AP courses he wants, and also do joint enrollment at the local college next year. I think he was also a bit bummed that he is currently 12th in a class of about 350 - he'd rather be number 1! Ah youth! He really is an amazing kid!

I'm trying to gear up for sub teaching in December, while counting down days to Thanksgiving and Thomas's birthday. He has his driving test next week. Mark is still plugging along at his teaching job, and seems to be doing o.k. but doesn't say much, so then I wonder are things REALLY going o.k. or not? The dog has a sore on his leg and the vet said it is either a venemous insect bite or probably cancer. Cancer! In my dog! After really expensive and involved dental surgery this summer, I can't in good conscience, as well as for financial reasons, put him through more surgery...Seems like I have had a relative with cancer each year lately....Mom just last summer. I can't stand the uncertainty of not having a teaching job now, even though I did it to myself. With the economy like it is, can I find ANY KIND OF JOB in a 50 mile radius? Are my nerves going to be able to handle this? Will the sun quit hiding and come on out in earnest? Please?

The waves roll in, the waves roll out...

2009-11-16T09:33:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about opposite forces - good and evil, positive and negative, the breaking wave, the receding wave - in light of health care reform. We live in a country that prides itself on acts of selfless courage and commitment. Goodness knows there are military personnel, medical personnel, social workers, teachers, and countless volunteers who are making life better for someone, somewhere in this country, right now as I piddle at a keyboard. But there are also many who are so afraid of losing a piece of their own "stuff" that they rant and rave about politicians who are working to make life better for everyone through health care reform. Anyone who thinks that impoverished individuals have it made with free health care should take a good look around clinics and shelters that serve these populations. Not many would be contenders for a Ralph Lauren ad. Sure, there are some who can afford to purchase health insurance and choose not to, but isn't choosing a path in life part of living in a republic? I'm sure there are many like me who have insurance but still pale at the thought of copays, and when visiting a doctor, quickly add up what's left in the old checking account to see if a visit really is doable. Our family insurance is through my husband's teaching job - not the best perhaps but a long way from the worst. For one brief year, we had insurance through a major private business that my husband moonlighted with (yes, two full-time jobs). The coverage was amazing! But yet I'd give up a little of what I have - in the form of at least slightly higher rates - if it meant someone else who needs medical care gets it. I call it being a grownup and learning how to share. Guess some people in this country didn't get that lesson as a child.

Ready, set, go....?!?

2009-11-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

My "sub teacher card" came in the mail Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, Veteran's Day, I happily got online and registered to be available for calls, and then by Wednesday evening, a bundle of nerves, I changed my availability date to Nov. 30th, after Thanksgiving. What is going on? Why am I nervous about doing something I've done twice before in a 20 year career? Do I think it is so terribly hard at age 49? I should be grateful to have the chance to sub, and for others to see what I can do, in the hope of landing a permanent job. Have I gotten too used to being at home, just since last June? Or do I just want to do something else? Yeah, there are so many opportunites for middle aged women in a medium sized southern city.....hmmm...lots to ponder once again.

Budget cuts - different for everyone

2009-11-05T12:54:00.000-08:00

Thinking about budget cuts today, after seeing a local teacher's union protesting furlough days at the local board meeting yesterday. Furlough days have become a reality for many people, and are certainly more desirable than layoffs, no? Listening to teachers rant to the news reporters about how hard it is to concentrate on teaching when you don't know if your power has been cut off, I wonder....does everyone make an effort to budget like my husband and I do?

Here's the lowdown...We are a family of three living on one teacher's salary - a teacher with 25 years in the system. Our biggest ticket budget items are a $700 monthly mortgage (no Taj Mahal but cozy nevertheless) and a $400 car payment on a modestly priced car ($16,000), which will be the first thing to go if we DO get desperate. We have to use about $300 of the money I saved back from my last year's teaching salary to make the budget, which should last through the year but hopefully will be supplemented by my sub teacher pay. We have no bills overdue, and certainly the lights in our home are not about to be cut off. We have basic $9 a month cable, no phone but two cells, and our other vehicles are over 12 years old. We do not eat out except on rare occasions and at the cheapest of restaurants (God bless mexican food!) We do not buy new clothes and I handmake gifts from recycled materials or materials such as shells.

Yes, we are dealing with about $150 a month less due to furlough days, but at least Georgia is not following Hawaii's model yet, only working four days per week. And I know that life happens while you are making other plans. My husband has had unexpected medical bills. But I'm still grateful my husband has a teaching job. I'd just love to have a job to whine about again.

From my past years in both pubic and private schools, I know that there are some high end cars parked in the teacher parking lot, and some high end clothing walking those halls, not to mention the dinners out since teachers work harder than anyone else and can't be expected to cook. (I have one word for you - crockpot).

O.k., enough whining of my own. But let's be appreciative of what we have, folks!

Friday - let the tide take me away!

2009-10-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm looking forward to a weekend - perhaps some yummy, cheap mexican food to start with, washed down with something frozen. My job search is showing a little bit of action. I have almost completed the process to be a substitute - did my drug test (no drugs or alcohol in my system, as I'm a very light, weekend drinker at best), have my paperwork, just have my fingerprinting next week. I learned who is the best contact for new jobs at the orientation, and she told me about several jobs open. Now I play the waiting game to see if principals call for interviews...but at least I am headed in the right direction and "on the radar," so to speak! I feel like Scarlett O'Hara - "I'll NEVER be without a job again" (if I can help it).

My son finishes mid terms today, so he will be ready for a weekend as well. He was like an excited puppy earlier this week, talking about how he had the highest score on recent AP English and AP History tests. Boy, all you need to do as a teacher to motivate him is print out a list of test scores by student number, or tell who the top ones were. If he's not there, he'll hustle to GET there....

My husband has been doing well healthwise, and managing his computer classes. I still don't know if he wants to finish out his five years until retirement or not. It is great to see him happy and content after a couple of rough months. I remember how he was such an amazing teacher 25 years ago, and I was so jealous I wanted to start teaching myself. I can only pray that he finds his way. As teachers, I do feel that what we lose in energy as we get older, we make up for in knowledge and wisdom.

Picking up the little pieces

2009-10-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

I spend a lot of time watching sandpipers on the beach - my favorite shore bird. To be so small in such a large world! I am trying to remember that dwelling on daily troubles, or worrying about a certain possible future, represent wasted energy, and are just not worth it! Better to be grateful each day for awakening and drawing a breath, one that is free of physical pain or mental anguish. Like the sandpiper, I have been going along gathering little pieces this week, content in my actions - chatting with a store clerk, comforting a friend, making a cake for family, picking up my son and his friends from school, sitting outside in the sun with the dog.

Going forward, not backward

2009-10-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

I know my teenage son is tired of hearing this, but it IS true. As human beings, we can only go forward, not backward, and that is my mantra as I continue to look for teaching jobs that open up during the school year. My husband is feeling better each day, but his recent health problems have emphasized to me the importance of having a job! Would I have made the same decision to leave my private school teaching job last year, if I could have forseen recent events? Who knows...it was a crazy time last school year, and being able to say "I'm leaving" gave me much needed peace last May. As much as I could use extra cash as a substitute, I am also hesitant to go back as a sub to my old school. As Scarlett said, "I'll think about that tomorrow." Or next tax year....

Mark and I had two wonderful walks this past weekend - one to local fort and nature preserve, and one at the beach. The weather is just about perfect here in Georgia in October!

Principals on Power Trips

2009-10-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful morning walk at the south end of the beach last week, and took this photo. Morning sunlight makes the water and sand looked as though each has been dusted in silvery glitter, alight with new possibilities for the day! This old tree had washed up on a sand bar.
My son and I have been talking about school administrators a lot on the way to his high school in the morning. Last week he had dress down days for homecoming - no uniforms! - but the week was marred by the "rules" for each day being changed at the last minute. Why is it so hard to get a school administrator that can relate to teenagers? What good is a dress down day if you can't wear jeans? This is a minor, inconsequential thing, but indicative of the larger problem. Do administrators give up brain cells when they take on this job? Why do they act as though they never set foot in a classroom as a teacher themselves?

I went by my local branch of the public library and was amused to see a display of "banned books" - books that were banned when they first came out or thereabouts. Kudos to the librarian who prepared that one! I saw books from 1900s on to present. Surely the best way to get someone to read a book is to ban it, but the whole idea of book banning is like poison to a teacher/English major. A book incident was the beginning of the end for me and one previous administrator. Now, mind you, I welcome positive or negative comments from peers, administrators, students and parents on book study choices, and I will follow what a principal decides with grace. BUT DON'T DIS A BOOK UNTIL YOU HAVE READ IT!

When I attended my son's public high school, we had an amazing administrator - she was respected and loved by all. She brought together two races, both disgruntled a bit over busing, and made the student body a unified whole. Then, when I started teaching, my husband and I each worked at separate public elementary schools in the downtown area. Our principals were close friends, and just about perfect. Both have long since retired, but the ones who rise to take over leave a lot to be desired. I have come to the conclusion that power truly can corrupt, and much quicker than ever before!

Co-dependency Revisited/Currents Can Pull You Down

2009-09-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

My husband, also a teacher and also 49, is in the middle of a depression, touched off by recent medical issues but something that has been building for a couple of years. While he struggles to find peace and joy in his life again, I sometimes feel like I have walked out in a strong current in the ocean, with the undertow pulling me away from shore. Sometimes I just want to let it take me. I know I'm in danger of sounding really whiny, but it isn't easy being the caretaker, the one who organizes things, makes doctors appointments, checking to see that he is "alright" when of course he isn't really "alright." But then again, what IS normal? This reminds me of my childhood with a physcially disabled, and sometimes depressed, mother. I was so happy the day I moved out and into my own apartment, so that I only was responsible for myself, even though I love her dearly!

On a much happier note, my son, who is a high school junior, FINALLY got his schedule straight and he is in four "good" classes - one International Baccalaureate elective, two AP, and the last Spanish he needs. He dropped out of IB this year, due to heavy work load and dislike for the A/B schedule, but AP pickings are slim at his school. Tragic that most of the students DON'T want an education, and they make it insufferable for the ones who DO. I really think public middle and high school are "dinosaurs," soon to be extinct in the education field. Those who can afford it use private schooling, and more and more families are drawn to home schooling in the upper grades. The safety issues are just not worth it! I don't think this is the situation our founding fathers imagined for education in America.

Dolphins at Play - Great Start to Day!

2009-09-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

My husband and I walked on the beach this morning, and saw dozens of dolphins in the north channel. Several did high, out of the water jumps, and a couple of others did back flips. Such joyous, beautiful animals!

Racism and Prejudice - Ebb & Flow

2009-09-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

I walked on the beach this morning, before errands and before housework! Lots of wind, whitecaps and foam, and hardly any tourists!

I want to talk about the white elephant in the room, or to use another symbol, the stinking, dead fish on the beach that everyone just walks by, holding their breath. That would be racism. My son came home from high school yesterday, aghast and perplexed that so many fellow students feel it is perfectly acceptable to talk about things like "beating up gay guys" or "how much they hate white people." He attends a public high school with about an 80/20 black/white racial balance and a 10/90 gifted to low achieving balance; he is decidedly in the minority. As a political independent, I voted for Mr. Obama, and I'm glad I did, though I admit I'm disappointed at the push and confusion of the health care reform bill. I still believe he will make strides in global relations. I realize, however, that I was naive to think that a mixed race President could heal the divide between the races just by taking office. Now some African Americans might say I am just experiencing what they did for so long - point taken. But why, decades after the civil rights movement, do I have to hope and pray that my son makes it home safely? Why does anyone have to? Schools have become like jails - see through bookbags, metal detectors, constant searches, no doors on restrooms - built to keep unruly students in, and earnest, hard working students out. I don't think any healing can take place until we can admit there's a problem here, and bury the dead fish.

2009-09-23T11:55:00.000-07:00

Tides of Diane - Tide Changes

2009-09-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

I've been riding out a "rough current" in my life lately. I'm a middle aged mother, wife and unemployed teacher - looking for sanity, looking for work, looking for calm waters, looking for patience - not necessarily in that order.